Helena Gardner:

Welcome to, Here’s the Story, A show that brings student affairs to life by sharing the authentic voices and live the starting over na. Welcome to one More Go.

Welcome to Here’s the Story, a show that brings student affairs to life by sharing the authentic voices and lived experiences of those who are shaping the field every day. I’m your host, Helena Gardner, and I serve as a mom, a daughter, a friend, and a mentor to many, and also as a director of residence education and housing services.

I’m gonna share a little bit from our sponsor today. Huron

Huron’s education and research experts help institutions transform their strategy, operations, technology, and culture to foster innovation, financial health, and student success. And I am so very excited to be here today with my good friend. My good friend, Mari. I was gonna say former this, former that, but today I just wanna be present with my good friend, Mari Mari.

Tell these folks who you are. Hi everyone,

Mari Strombom: I’m Mari Stroumbom I am a mom. I think that’s one of the most important things I do. I’m also a partner, a friend, and I have spent most of the last 37 years at Colorado State University, so I am currently serving as a. Executive director of On and Off-Campus Life, and it’s a new title.

Maybe a surprise for Helena because now in addition to, um, being executive director for all of housing and dining services, I’m also working with our off-campus life office, which has been an exciting addition to my portfolio. So that’s fantastic. That’s me.

Helena Gardner: Well, Mari. We get a chance on this show to tell stories that just impact us as leaders that are doing this work.

And so I know you have with 37 years in one place for most of your life, I know you got some stories to tell. Tell us a story today.

Mari Strombom: Um, one of the. The things I think is most salient to who I am as a student affairs professional right now is that I am a student affairs professional who’s been living with the impacts of long COVID for the last two and a half-ish years.

A little bit more than that. Um, and while it’s. A chronic illness that have been slowly getting better over time. It’s been very, very slow over the last two and a half years. I don’t know if I’m ever gonna get back to who I was before I developed lung COVID and it has. Made me much more empathetic for my employees that are dealing with, um, long-term chronic illness where there won’t be a recovery.

Um, and it has also really challenged me emotionally and mentally in lots of different ways. So not just the physical impacts. So the physical impacts for me and long, long COVID symptoms are. So broad. Yeah. That it impacts people in lots of different ways. For me, it’s been, um, a major symptom has been fatigue.

Um, fatigue to the point where it’s hard for me to get outta bed sometimes. Wow.

You know, in the early days I just. I was in bed a lot, took a lot, a lot of sick leave ’cause I just needed to not do anything with either my body or my mind. So it was just a lot of sleeping. Um. I still have to take breaks from my mind. I still have to take breaks from my body. Wow. Um, brain fog has been a part of it.

Um, GI tract stuff, really bad headaches, and I feel very fortunate that money of those symptoms I’ve been able to manage through medications, but not all of them. And. Um, I think that’s been the challenging part is, um, anybody who knows me, um, Helena knows that I’ve always been quite a bit of an overachiever.

I like to stay busy. Yeah. Achiever is one of my top strengths. Um, I like to do, I like to see what I’ve done, like I need to see some evidence of, of what I’ve done and I can’t do. Like I used to do. Wow. And so mentally that’s definitely been a challenge. Um, I think even more of a challenge most recently.

’cause as I said, I’ve been feeling better over time. I’m still not mm-hmm. There, but I’m better than I was a year ago For sure. Is trying to figure out how much I share with people, because I don’t want, yeah. My staff, my boss, my colleagues, to feel like, okay, this is two and a half years of excuses, Marie.

Like cut it out. Right? How much is legit? How much is an excuse? Um, and also I don’t wanna impact their perceptions of me. What I’m able to achieve, what I’m able to do, and I know that that also ties in with my age because as this lovely silver hair indicates, I’m definitely much, much closer to retirement than I am to the beginning of my career.

And I just think those tie in together and maybe interesting things. Yeah. So

Helena Gardner: yeah, because that hit me. Because I do know Mari, to be kind of, um, the go, go go. If there’s something happening, you’re there. You’re smiling with the people next to the people. And I never, never thought of it as, um. Seeing kind of your work, so that, thank you for that gift of, that’s also what we do when we’re out there working, you know, in relationships.

We’re actually seeing our work, you know, checking out our extensions of ourselves and I’m curious to how that, um, what’s that been like? Not, you know, to have folks very familiar with Mari being everywhere. Yeah. Work events, personal events. How’s that impacted you and your relationships?

Mari Strombom: For, for me, it’s been really hard. I know that if I’m not paying attention to where I’m expending my energy, I’m gonna pay a price pretty quick.

Helena Gardner: Yeah. So if I’m overdoing

Mari Strombom: it, um, yeah. The next day or the day after, I’m, I’m gonna be really fatigued and I may not be able to do much other than rest. Mm-hmm. Um.

The way it’s impact relationships is that I’m really grateful for long-term established relationships because I’ve have wonderful friends who give me great grace.

Helena Gardner: Yeah.

Mari Strombom: Because they know this isn’t. Who I typically am. So when I say, gosh, I would love to do that with you, but I know I, I shouldn’t right now, they get it.

Right? Yeah. The people who don’t know me as well may be going like, okay, yeah. But the long term established friendships and relationships, they understand and I’m. Really blessed in that a lot of my staff are folks that I’ve been working with a long time. My supervisors, somebody I’ve known since 1987 for pizza.

Yeah. You know, I mean I’ve got, I’m really lucky to have people who’ve known me for a really long time, um, to gimme that grace. And I also wanna make sure, because I guess backtracking a little bit, when you said about work, I thought you said about worth and that Yeah. That hits too, because as an achiever, that’s often how I’ve measured my worth.

What have I been able to do? Oh, what have I been able to accomplish? Right. And that’s had to shift, which is healthier in a lot of ways. Healthier, but, but that it’s such a

Helena Gardner: change.

Mari Strombom: Yeah. You know, as an achiever that’s like, okay, when I can do things, yeah, okay, this shows what I can do. This is what I can give, this is what I can contribute.

When I can’t get and contribute as much, it doesn’t feel great. Right.

Helena Gardner: So you mentioned achiever as a strength that you have formerly serving you, I feel super, um, or development session when I say this. What other strengths have emerged that you’ve had to depend on for your leadership that you’ve had to call on a little bit differently to maintain?

Mari Strombom: I think one of my strengths has always been the ability to connect with people.

Helena Gardner: Yeah.

Mari Strombom: Right. And so even for those with whom I don’t have long-term mm-hmm. Strongly developed friendships, I’m still able to connect with them.

Helena Gardner: Yeah.

Mari Strombom: Right. So I think about some of the folks on my staff that are newer. Mm-hmm.

Um. You know, there’s always the challenge of, this is my title, this is their title. Right. You, you always have to work through that.

Helena Gardner: Yeah.

Mari Strombom: But my, my value, how I value the work that I do is I don’t connect with people based on title. I connect with people based on who we are. And I know that my title can get in the way of that.

So then my work is always to say, I, I get it. I’ve got this title. Mm-hmm. And, and I know I, you know, titles can, um, influence me too. But I’m here to help you be successful in your job. Yeah. So how can we connect as people? And so I’ve, I’ve had to rely more on that and finding the ways to make the time for that.

Helena Gardner: Yeah.

Mari Strombom: In a way that doesn’t add to my fatigue. And so, you know, I monitor what I do on the weekends to make sure I’ve got enough work energy for the work week. And then I also have to monitor what I do during the work week to make sure I’ve got enough energy on the weekends to be present for my family.

Weeknights, I don’t always have it. Like oftentimes I go home from work and I lay down and take a nap, and I may or may not get up before morning, you know? But I at least want my weekends to be there with, for my family, you know.

Helena Gardner: Yeah. Thank you for sharing all that. For parts of this that we didn’t have on camera where, you know, we were tossing around stories and what we may be talking about, I was sharing with you that I felt like that was a good heart story and soul connecting and, um, when you, when you refer back to and lean on the connecting, um.

I just wanna take a moment to say, I feel like you just, you, you’re saying you have to stay in touch with the core of at least who Mari is. Yeah. Mari is able to exist through it and call upon the heart pieces and, you know, it makes me a little emotional with that. Um, because I also hear that if that’s always who you are inside.

The things you’ve collected along the way to further enhance you are some of the things that you’re not able to utilize any longer.

Mari Strombom: Right, right. Yeah. And needing to limit, you know, what do I do during move in?

Helena Gardner: What are the, which has gotta be hard.

Mari Strombom: Oh my gosh. We love

Helena Gardner: moving because we love moving. Yeah.

Mari Strombom: Yeah. And I can’t ride my biker around campus anymore like I used to to check in with all the university housing staff and you know, I’ve got a golf cart that I use, what I’ve got the energy for. But you know, sometimes I’m in, I’m definitely, last couple years I’ve been in my office much more than I had years prior.

Right. Yeah. So, yeah.

Helena Gardner: So here’s the last thought I have on this, um, huge change in the impact to your life. We, we worked together during the pandemic, and I can say that I live with some, um, resentment. I’m, I’m sure I’m not alone in the world, whether it’s professionally, personally, you know, that was a hard time for a lot of us.

And so some days I know that, um, relationships and, um, experiences. Humans people mm-hmm. Were all impacted during that very, um, heavy trying time for us. And now I’m just adding to that. And then I think of your, your whole story around living and leading during that time and then now continuing to live with pieces of that time in our life.

What you got resentment Mari?

Mari Strombom: I can, yeah. I think when I feel the resentment the most is when I hear people say, well, thankfully we’re, we’re done with COVID because I’m not, and I don’t believe that we are because I know there’s, yeah. You know, I’ve got a colleague who this week contracted COVID again and is the sickest they’ve ever felt, and they’re miserable.

It’s still happening. It’s still impacting us. Yeah. Yeah. People aren’t dying like they used to. Thank goodness. Thank goodness. And I have. A good number of colleagues and friends who lost family members. Mm-hmm. To COVID. I’m glad we’re not seeing the, that amount of death. Yeah. But like you, you said that the impacts are there for all of us, whether you’re living with long COVID or not.

Right? Yeah. I think, um, it harmed some relationships. It strained other relationships. It changed I think, how a lot of us interact with each other. Yeah. Um, my sons are 20 and 22, and especially for my 20-year-old, seeing him and. Our, the students that we have that are his age, it’s so clear that COVID impacted their development, but they didn’t have that opportunity in high school to no learn how to approach new people or to.

Live through rejection or to put themselves out there, and all of those social skills were so negatively impacted. And yeah. Um, a colleague of mine was saying that this fall was the first fall since COVID, where they feel like the energy of the students is similar to what it was pre COVID. Yes.

Helena Gardner: Right? Yes.

Yeah. That’s

Mari Strombom: a long time. Right. And so, yeah. I think it’s for those of us who parents has impacted us to see what’s impacted our children.

Helena Gardner: Yeah.

Mari Strombom: Right. And so it’s gonna be with us as a society for a, a long time yet. Yeah. And mine is front of mind every day. ’cause all the medications I take and because of how I’m trying to watch my energy and like I I said at the beginning too is I have many colleagues that are living with.

True with not true. Mine’s true too, I guess, but, but with chronic illness and have lived with it maybe most of their life, or it’s something that there isn’t a hope that it’ll go away. I still have the hope that mine will go away, whether it will or not. Yeah. But I think that’s also in, help me to kind of rethink of when it’s very easy to go, oh my gosh, they’re taking a sick day again.

Yeah. Like we’ve had like so many sick days recently, like. I think many people jump to, are they really that sick?

Helena Gardner: Yeah.

Mari Strombom: They really need all this time. Where for me, I think, oh dang, I’m really sorry. I’m sorry that you’re needing to take another day because I, I know how crappy that feels one to feel. So do you have to take the day off, but also to, okay, I’m calling in for another sick day and I know I’ve got work I need to get done.

Right?

Helena Gardner: Yep. And you know, for years we just. Having been our best self around understanding what illness should look like. Yeah. What, what health looks like, and certainly energy. Yeah. Right. Push through, persevere, you know, do the thing. And in in fact though, as a very deep introvert people takes me to a place where I can’t imagine what balancing energy is like when your whole body is working twice as hard.

Right. So, um. I just thank you for sharing that story, Mari, because um,

it’s just such a reminder of, uh, for, for any work, I’m gonna go with higher ed work because that’s what this show’s about. But of the whole person,

Mari Strombom: yeah,

Helena Gardner: just, just being attentive to the whole person and it’s a reminder that for even us folks doing this work, that we can be changed. Actually we should be changed.

Mari Strombom: Yeah.

Helena Gardner: Actually as well. But um, we can be So thank you for that. Yeah. Today

Mari Strombom: and change in

Helena Gardner: ways that are

Mari Strombom: out of our control. Right. I think sometimes it’s like, okay, I know I can be better so I’m gonna do see a therapist, I’m gonna study, I’m gonna do whatever Right. To help me be better. That’s change within our control for the most part.

Yeah. Right.

Helena Gardner: Thank you for that. And then there’s

Mari Strombom: these other things that kinda come at you that

Helena Gardner: unexpected. Right. Better. Better becomes relative. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you for that.

Mari Strombom: Yeah.

Helena Gardner: I’m gonna, I’m gonna thank our sponsors one more time. Our sponsor, Huron Huron’s Education and Research Experts help institutions transform their strategy, operations, technology, and culture to foster innovation, financial health, and student success.

This has been, here’s the story, part of the Student Affairs Now family. We’re so glad you joined us, where we sometimes laugh, cry, learn, commiserate, celebrate being part of the student affairs experience, and understand who we are as individuals. If you have a story and we all have a story, please consider leaving a two minute pitch via voice file@studentaffairsnow.com slash Here’s the story.

Every story is welcome and every story is worthy. And if you maybe don’t quite feel like sharing yours. Feel free to drop a name of two of others that may be really good storytellers that we can connect with. Again, you can find us@studentaffairsnow.com on YouTube. Here’s the story, slight. It’s a little tap at the top, and you’ll see archive stories and more colleagues in the field doing this.

Good work. Wanna give a special shout out to our editor, Nat Ambrosey. Nat does a fantastic job of taking my oops and my, uh, ohs and making me look my very best. This, again, this has been, here’s the story. I’m Helena Gardner and thank you Mari, for being with us today. Thank you. Yeah.

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